Searchfortreasure's Blog

…a Bible student's notes…

Written 10/07/2011……

My pain and suffering has increased, perhaps, 100 fold. I think I must have thought that it was already as bad as it could be – wrong. I have been experimenting answering folks’ questions concerning how I feel with the varied list that it is, and they always interrupt by having to see someone else, having to leave, etc. I believe it is because they don’t know what to say – overwhelmed.

That’s what I am – overwhelmed. I know that going to the doctor I will be asked, “What is your chief complaint?” Even the doctors are overwhelmed. I have been treated as “old” and unable to know my own body. I have been left alone by the physician as he attends to other matters. Since Dr. Cannon died, not one doctor has heard me “finish” my story.

I accept this from my Lord’s hands. I need to suffer. I need to weep. I need to climb upon my Father’s lap and trust. I need help. I need intercession.

A few days ago, I picked up a book I have of Elisabeth Elliot’s – “A Path Through Suffering.” She has been a mentor of sorts to me and I know some of her sufferings.

There were some underlings because I had read this book already. It has my writing inside the cover page that I bought it at J.O.Y. Bookstore in April, 1991. My heart “sinks.” This date is during a family tragedy of which I will never recover and begins my pain and sufferings.

The book falls open to a noted page inside – “read on day before cleaning out Joy’s room at Elizabethtown College.” Wanna’ know what I have underlined?

Why this waste?

Why this sacrifice?

Why this, when things seemed so promising?”

I have underlined some more: “Often there seems to be no visible reason for our having to let go. But, life, our spiritual life in Christ, depends on it. The life-out-of-death cycle must proceed.”

I turn the page and there is the date, 5/9/91, and more underlinings.


July 8, 2016 - Posted by | Contentment, Dr. Don Cannon, Health Crises, on faith, Pages from my journal, Prayer

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