Searchfortreasure's Blog

…a Bible student's notes…

I didn’t get to be 69 without regrets…

Conversations with my GRANDdaughter, part 12…

I got my last whipping with a leather belt when I was 16. I’ll tell you up front that it was a traumatic experience and the reason for it is still baffling to me.

I had gone to a Beta Club dance at school.  (Beta Club was for students with high grade-point averages.)

Interjection – these “dances” were nothing like today. We were well chaperoned, well dressed, and well behaved. Boys were expected to make sure that every girl got to dance while holding us at arm’s length. Many of the dances were called, “the hop” – a lively foot stepping dance holding hands at arm’s length and sometimes twisting under our arms. Girls danced with girls, also. One time I was dancing with a girl, and when I went under and around her arms, my elbow hit her two front teeth and knocked them out! In my head, the music immediately stopped. We, both, were stunned; but it turns out that these teeth were crowns and only needed re- gluing. I didn’t know that when I told my parents what I had done. They acknowledged that they would pay the dental bill – but there wasn’t one. Whew!

I didn’t get a whipping for that time. They actually seemed to understand that things like that are, as my mom would say, “such is life.”

However, her “such is life” attitude didn’t apply to everything.

These dances were also well mannered and well equipped for practicing our manners. Our sponsor had borrowed my mama’s best silver punch bowl, silver cups, and silver serving dishes. The refreshment table was lovely. During the dance about 5 or 6 of us decided we wanted to go to the drive-in for a movie after the dance. I called home and asked if I could go, naming whose car – a convertible! – and whom would be going. Yes, I could go. She knew and approved of everyone in the mixed group of boys and girls.

By the way, we never “dated” each other. In my clique, consisting of about 10 or 12, made up of boys and girls, we never “went” with each other. We were always involved with a group, never with singles. It was not factored into my thinking, nor was it in theirs.

So, the six of us piled up in this convertible – no seat belts, remember. Off to the movie, afterward, back to the school to get our own cars to go home.

School was locked. I did not get mom’s silver.

At home, mom was furious with me for not bringing the silver home. What if something happened to it. What if someone stole it. She had me bend over the bed with just panties on and whipped me with daddy’s belt. I do not recall how many strikes, but it was enough.

At school, the silver had been washed and safely put away. I brought it home the next school day.

At 16, my coping skills were immature – and my understanding skills were nil. I kept my emotions closed inward and became depressed. I dropped band for my senior year. I don’t remember going to another Beta Club dance. Actually, my literal memories fail me at this point. The memories I have are the emotions.

By the time I had children, I realized many of my frustrations and anger toward my children were guided more by emotions of other events and not just my kids’ disobedience.

I did not get to be 69 without regrets.

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July 14, 2011 - Posted by | Conversations with my GRANDdaughter

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