Searchfortreasure's Blog

…a Bible student's notes…

Not for the fainthearted….

This is a repeat from my April, 2001 newsletter:

Can you bear to “listen” to my heart?

Don’t read on if you are fainthearted!

 I feel like the woman who just wanted to touch the hem of our Lord’s garment – when she pressed through the crowd and finally did, she was healed.  Remember.

 In “descriptive” language, I pressed on, touched the hem of His garment and was not healed.  I grabbed His ankles and held on.  He drags me through the rocky, dusty roads, yet I will not turn loose!  He rests by the roadside to teach, pray, rest and eat.  I don’t turn loose.  I learn, pray with groanings, and find nourishment and refreshment – for more dragging through the rocky roads of life.

 Oh, Father, I climb upon your lap for a respite, listening to your heartbeat, synchronizing my breathing with yours – feeling your strong, muscular arms about me – your body warmth comforting me.  Thank you for listening and hearing my groanings that do not have words.  May your Holy Spirit bring them before You as incense – sweet smelling aromas from my heart – offered for your acceptance with thanksgiving, for the doing of Your Will in my life.

 The road is rocky, the dust stinging – but we trudge on.  The strength to hang on is from You – called “grace.”  I often need to find this grace and beg for mercy as we travel along.  The open wounds from the rough stones do not get a complete chance to heal in the pauses of refreshments before we begin anew on the narrow, difficult way.  Adjacent to this narrow way is the wide, smooth way.  You allow me to look over at the ones on that road – the road where You are not travelling – and they look fine and dandy.   I’m bruised, have open wounds, scars, unkept appearance – tattered clothing, torn by the rough terrain.  I am “comely.  I am sunburned.”  But, You look at me with pleasure. I hold on. 

The portion of my heart that You gave me for grandmothering overpowers all other areas of my heart.  My hopes and aspirations wrapped up in this child are from years of knowing You, studying Your Word, and learning Your ways.  I also live from experiences from the world, my flesh and satan for these 59 years.  I know the snares, fiery darts, and deceptions that WILL come to her.  Help my focus to never look to the right or left – just to You.  And may Sarah keep looking toward the goal, fighting the good fight of the faith, and finishing the race – to the very end.  Help us to “hang on” by knowing the race –the fight – is worth the crown(s).

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May 2, 2011 - Posted by | Pages from my journal

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