Searchfortreasure's Blog

…a Bible student's notes…

Waiting for the phone to ring…..

You know what it’s like.  W-A-I-T-I-N-G for the phone to ring.  We have done this many, many times as a family.  Bob has lost more jobs than we can remember; so, waiting for the phone to ring to line up an interview, or with the results of an interview, became almost a habit for us.  We also waited with our son, David, for a call from NASA saying he was invited to co-op there as he worked and waited for his college degree. 

I must say, though, this is the first time we have waited for an appointment with an oncologist and short bursts of emotion break out every few minutes; I watch the clock.  I wonder if I need to take phone with me to take a shower.  I remember that I was going to wash clothes today.  Get them together; look at the clock; put them in washer; look at the clock.  Wonder when I should just call them and make sure they have my correct phone number.  Wonder why it is taking so long.  Must be a lot of women with cancer.

What is the good news/bad news here?  “To die is gain.”  How could that be bad news.  I know why.  Because I would not have enough time to “redeem.”

Regrets and failures rush to crowd my mind space.  My “mind must be stayed upon Him.”  So, I fight for full space to rely totally upon Him and His plan for me.  But, they – the regrets and failures – are so real, so true, and so very sneaky. 

May I not become weary in “well-doing” as the battle for my thoughts rages.  Please raise up “Arons and Hurs” for strength in the war.  Send those that can just “watch with me for one hour.”

The battle is for my thoughts.  Not as to whether I have cancer or not.


February 22, 2011 - Posted by | Counting Joy, on faith, Pages from my journal

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